- You have over 100 pairs of shoes.
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People you live with always complain that you are encroaching on their space and suffocating them with shoes.
- You would rather forgo food so that you can buy your latest object of obsession.
Beware this can be dangerous … and potentially all your friends and family will BLOCK you on whatsapp to stop you from asking for food or money.
- You like to keep the boxes of your shoes.
These can be used to play Jenga, but try and stack them neatly or they will end up on your head.
- You think red bottoms are overrated yet you still sport them every once in a while to show non-shoe connoisseurs how it is done!
Every Jessica, Juliet & Josephine in town may have a pair but you sport your limited editions to show them that there is a world beyond Pigalle and So Kate.
- You refer to your shoes as your ‘babies’ (or insert other mushy nickname typically reserved for ones other half)… and you would hurt anyone who lost, damaged or stole your shoes.
Violence is not good ladies and gentleman. I recommend keeping your babies away from human contact to avoid jail time.
- A head-to-toe assessment doesn’t apply to you; when you are checking someone out your eyes instantly scope their shoe game.
Last Season Prada’s – I don’t think so!
- The first store you go into when you enter a shopping centre MUST sell shoes.
Mum your allergy medication can wait; Jimmy Choo is having a sale!
- Last but not least you have agreed with everything I have said (to a degree anyway).
Being a shoe-a-holic is a fabulous (yet costly) addiction – flaunt it! And if you are not one; get with the programme.
In the words of the great Coco Chanel: